i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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