I feel like abortions should bother me more
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
