I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize