Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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