she was so not down for the gang bang
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
