Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
