everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
