The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Let's get the cat blown out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
