He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
