I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
