By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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