Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize