i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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