Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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