Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
