I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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