So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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