Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize