i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No stitches, just platelets and will power
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
