Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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