Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize