Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
