So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think a kid would responsible me up
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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