I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
