On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize