My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize