Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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