Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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