I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize