you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
