never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
