i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
