it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
