come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
