My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
