Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
