So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
