Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My pussy is not your playground.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
