You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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