forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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