I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize