Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't turn off my feet"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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