what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
