awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
