eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
