The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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