hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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