That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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