He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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