i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You were trust falling into bushes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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