Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
