i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
