just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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