I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
