So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize