I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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