he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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