I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
