only you would photoshop your dick
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize