i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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