oh god the rape fog is back!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
