Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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