I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
pray to the hookup gods
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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