my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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