Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
