I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
