she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
