the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
