quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
